


Human Touch

by Enide_Dear



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: M/M, No Romance, No Slash, frienship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7701067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enide_Dear/pseuds/Enide_Dear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternative beginning on how Apocalypse Kurt joined the X men. No pairings, just lots of friendship and cuddling</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He was fleeing for his life, hoping and praying for a miracle, for a safe place to hide, for at least a place to ’port to where he could hide and catch his breath for a minute. But this city was utterly foreign and all the buildings way too tall; in his desperation to get away he couldn’t spot anywhere to be safe so he just kept running, the mob of people behind him getting closer. Far too soon he would have to risk bamfing blindly, no telling where he would end up properly.

He cast a desperate glance behind him at the mob of people – fifteen? Twenty? They seemed more every time he turned – and turned a corner, tail whipping out behind to keep balance. 

And he ran straight into someone, almost falling over as he bounced off a strong chest, but a hand shot out to steady him. 

“Hey, hey, easy there.” Fear made faces blurry; all Kurt saw was a silverblonde hair and the shadows of four or five other people standing there. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” He gasped, trying to get free before the mob caught up with him or these people realized what he was.

But it was too late; the blurry face under the silver hair suddenly jolted as whoever it was that held him caught sight of blue skin, red eyes, and sharp, sharp teeth. The hand that had been steadying him loosened his grip as if it had been burned. 

“Wohaa, you’re a mutant!” And suddenly the other people in the little group turned towards him with interest just as the mob that had been following him came the corner. 

“There’s the mutant, get him! Hold him!” They screamed at the group and Kurt tried to run again, but somehow Silverhair was already there, blocking him. 

“Don’t run, little buddy.” He said, easily blocking Kurt’s attempts to run past him. 

“What’s the problem?” the other young man in the group that had caught Kurt stepped up in front of Kurt, but it was the mob he was addressing. It looked almost like he was….shielding Kurt. A black skinned woman stepped up next to the goggled man while the last member of the group, a red-head girl, stayed back next to Kurt.

“That’s a mutant! A freak! And we’re gonna kill him before he causes any trouble!” The mob approached. Some of them held bats and Kurt started whipping around frantically looking for a way out, but he was trapped in an alley and the buildings here were so tall….

“Look at it! It’s a devil!” Someone screamed and suddenly the red haired girl shouted back.

“He’s a human! As much as anyone of you!”

“Just leave him alone and we’ll let you walk away from here.” The dark skinned girl said calmly but there was something happening, like an approaching storm, Kurt could feel every hair on his body trying to stand on edge. The boy with the goggles where fiddling with them, still standing between Kurt and the mob, just him and the dark girl.

The mob laughed, darkly, and came closer. Kurt crouched down, despair overtaking him, wrapping his arms around his head to protect it from what he knew must come, prayers tumbling from his lips. 

“And what would you do about it?” They sneered.

 

Red light, too intense too look straight at, tore through the night and a beam of laser cut into the asphalt at the mob’s feet. A second later lightning struck a trashcan next to them, spraying them with waste. The mob was silent for less than a second; then they turned tail and ran screaming from the alley. 

The red-head girl kneeled next to Kurt who was still crouching, staring with wild unbelieving eyes at the scene.

“It’s alright Kurt.” She smiled gently. “They are gone now.”

“How did you know…” he stammered.

“Telepath. I can read minds.” She looked up at the man with the goggled. “I am Jean and this is Scott. You saw what his eyes are like. And Ororo here is our weather goddess.”

“Not a goddess.” Ororo crossed her arms. “Just a mutant. Like you.”

Kurt slowly got up, glancing at the four people surrounding him and then down on the ground and his own blue, clawed, two-toed feet.

“Not quite like me.” He whispered. Then he looked up at the fourth person, only to find another normal face looking at him.

“I’m Pieter.” Pieter said, misunderstanding the look. “I’m just fast. Like, really fast.” Kurt blinked and the next second the silverhaired boy was eating from a bucket of popcorns that hadn’t been there before. He offered the box to Kurt, who just stared at it.

“Kurt, do you have anywhere to go tonight?” Scott looked at the very worn and very strange clothes the blue mutant wore; some kind of circus outfit, totally inappropriate for the cold autumn weather. 

“I…” Suddenly exhausted Kurt leaned back on the brick wall. “I should go home. Home to Germany. My mother….she must be so worried.”

“Dude, Germany is like on the other side of the ocean.” Pieter shook his head. “Not even I can get you there tonight.”

“I can….” And suddenly Kurt disappeared, just to appear a few meters away, curling up again as if he’d done something dirty.

Pieter dropped his popcorn bucket. 

“Teleporting?! No way! That is so cool, man!”

“You can’t do that all the way to Germany.” Jean reached out a hand for Kurt, who shied away from it. She let her hand drop. “Kurt, you are exhausted, and hungry and cold. You have nowhere to go tonight. Please follow us back to our school. You can sleep there tonight and I’m sure professor Xavier would love to meet you.”

“And you can borrow a phone. Call your mother and say you are alright.” Ororo added. 

“I…shouldn’t talk to strangers…” Kurt frowned.

“Dude, we’re not strangers, we’re mutants like you! That makes us like a brotherhood –“ Pieter saw Ororo’s look “- sisterhood. Siblinghood. Family, anyway.” He tried to put his arm around Kurt’s shoulders only to have the other mutant bamf away in panic, even further down the street. “You are almost faster than I am!” Pieter added impressed.

“Look, ignore the idiot for now.” Scott sighed. “Please come with us. We wont harm you.”

 

It took some more coaxing but finally they got the blue mutant into Scott’s car, huddled up in Pieter’s jacket in the middle of the backseat in between Jean and Pieter whom he seemed to be slightly less scared of than Scott and Ororo. He was curled up like a wet cat, eyes frantically darting everywhere as if to be certain he could escape if he wanted to and fear was radiating off him in *waves*. You didn’t have to be a telepath to feel it and Jean felt so sorry for him. 

They stopped for food at a drive-through burger and Kurt stared at his burger as if he’d never seen anything like it before. Then he devoured it with such a frenzy that Jean wondered when he last saw food. Pieter must have thought the same because it took an inordinate amount of time for Kurt to finish his fries while everyone else ran out really quickly. Almost as if Kurt’s fries where filled up continuously from everyone else’s. 

 

Exhaustion took its toll and by the time they drove up to Xavier’s institute Kurt was drowsing and even drooling slightly as his head dropped against Pieter’s shoulder. Pieter didn’t seem to mind but sat absolutely still and only Jean knew what that cost the spazzy man. 

But the second the car engine was turned off, Kurt woke with a startle, staring around wildly. 

“Come now.” Ororo opened the door to let them all out. “We’ll take you to the professor.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual touching wil come, I promise. But for now we need to get Kurt into some decent clothes and get some food in him

Kurt glanced around the fancy office, feeling grossly out of place and mostly like he wanted to sink through the floor. He wanted nothing more than to bamf out of there and just keep running, but he had no strength left and anyway, were would he go? Germany was far away.

The other four mutant teenagers - the normal looking ones - had followed him into the office, and looked a lot more at ease. Kurt couldn’t help but cringe as the thought of what the professor would say when he saw him. 

He was surprised, to say the least, when the man rolled in in a wheelchair pushed along by a woman who made a double take when she saw him. Her eyes got huge and she opened her mouth as if to say something but quickly shut it again although she kept staring at him. 

Well. Nothing new to that reaction, although it made him feel even more uncomfortable. 

“Ah, a new student, I see. Welcome to my insititute. I am professor Charles Xavier and this is Raven Darkholm.” The bald man reached out his hand and Kurt stared at it until Jean nudged an elbow in his side. Then he shook it, very quickly – the professor’s hand was strong and dry in his thick and callused one – and then hid both hands behind his back.

“Kurt. Kurt Wagner.” He mumbled.

“Please have a seat, Mr Wagner.” Professor Xavier gesticulated at a chair and Kurt gingerly sat down at the very edge; he wasn’t comfortable with sitting normally on chairs and anyway his tail got in the way. He felt shabby and ridiculous in his tattered clothes and Pieter’s borrowed jacket and even more acutely aware of his apperance than usually. 

And that woman – Raven - kept *staring* at him.

“As you understand, this is a school for genetically gifted youngsters, and I would say if I am not too bold that you would fit in perfectly here, Mr Wagner. You will be given a chance to develop your mutant skills amongst others of your kind here. We would be delighted to have stay here, wouldn’t we, Raven?”

“Delighted,” the woman murmured distractedly and that said all Kurt needed to know; there were no one else on campus that looked even remotely as freaky as he did. And yet…they were all mutants. Perhaps he would fit in here better than any other place? But still, it could never happened. 

“I have no money, professor.” Wringing his hands, Kurt looked down on the fancy carpet below him; it probably cost more than the circus made in a year. “I am sorry to have vasted your time, I simply wanted to…..to get away from the cold and perhaps to use a phone and call my mother.”

“Your mother?” Raven said with a sudden intensity he didn’t understand.

“Ja. I vas….kidnapped. From the circus and my family in Germany. Brought to this country to perform and I fled. I was chased by people vhen I ran into your students. They saved me, brought me here.” He saw the professor give Scott and the others approving looks. “But my mother is in Germany – ve vork at the circus there – and I should call her, tell her I’m coming home as soon as I can.”

“Of course you must.” Professor Xavier smoothly interrupted Raven’s next question; Kurt was grateful because the look on the woman was getting on his nerves. “And you will get to do so as soon as I have made you an offer. You are welcome to stay at my school and have your skills and abilities honed, as well as your education completed, for as long as you would want to. No charge, Mr Wagner. See your fantastic mutations as the scholarship that will pay for your tuition here. Food and lodging is of course included. And I think you will find the company of other mutants…stimulating.” He steepled his fingers and looked at Kurt over them. It was kind eyes, hopeful eyes. They more than anything else started to sway Kurt.

“I….that is most generous, professor, but I….” he looked around at the group that had helped him, at the professor and a very quick glance at the intense and slightly scary woman behind them. “I need to talk to my mother first. May I?”

…………

The call was short, but very intense. Margail and Amanda had missed him fiercly, worried themself half-sick and he almost broke down crying when he heard his mother’s voice. But she was also adamant; this was a chance he couldn’t throw away. Proper education and a chance to learn more about himself? For free? That was priceless. They promised to keep in touch and she would try to get the circus to USA for the summer so they could meet again but didn’t sound too optimistic about her chances of success.

…………

Kurt came back to the office and nodded.

“I vould like to take you up on your offer, professor. And tank you.”

“Thank you, Mr Wagner!” Professor Xavier smiled a genuine smile. “We’ll talk more another day, you have had a rough day and need some sleep I think. Your new friends can show you to your room, I think there is one still unoccupied on their floor.”

“Great, Kurt! Come with us!” Pieter once more tried to put an arm around his shoulders only to have him shy away again, but Scott opened the door and smiled and Kurt walked out of the office, surrounded by people. 

……..

He was shown to a small but neat dorm room with a bed, a table, a chair and a lamp, and nothing much more except a window to the park for which he was very grateful. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle close din spaces for a long time.

“And here are some, you know, normal clothes.” Scott handed him a pile of shirts, socks, pants and shoes.

“Tank you, but I really can’t…” Kurt started flustered.

“Don’t be silly, it’s just some old clothes. We’ll get you new ones as soon as we can get to the mall.”

*What’s a mall?* Kurt wondered, but shook his head.

“Nein, I mean, I really *can’t*. No shoes fit my, um, feet.” He shuffled his two-toed feet as if trying to hide them. “And the pants, vell….I’ll have to destroy them. You know. For my… tail.” He added so quietly it was almost a whisper.

“Oh.” Scott frowned then shrugged and retrieved the socks and shoes. “Keep the pants. I dont mind. You need something normal looking so people won’t….stare at you.”

There was a very awkward silence and then Jean added, a bit too brightly.

“Get a shower and some sleep, Kurt. We’ll pick you up tomorrow for breakfast. Good night!” She hearded the others away, giving him some space in his little room for which he was grateful. There were so much to think about, but he was too tired. He fell asleep on the bed, not even getting out of his circus outfit. 

……

The next morning there was a knock on the door just as he stepped out of the shower and he quickly donned the borrowed clothed. He was a bit suprised to see Pieter standing outside with a hooded sweater in his arms, chewing gum.

“Put on this, if you want to.” He blew a bubble and smile. “It’s gonna help cover those tacky clothes Scott borrowed you.” *And your ears and face and eyes if you want to.* was the unspoken continuation.

Kurt felt strange when he followed the four chatting mutants to the kitchen for breakfast; firghtened, most certainly, but he almost always felt that way. But also…strangely light inside as if something heavy was starting to lift from his chest. There were other students in the school and he could hear them whisper and feel them pointing at his tail and feet as he shuffled by but no one called out, no one got mad, no one got *violent*. One kid even shouted, in a firendly tone:

“Hey, newbie! Are you Hank’s kid?”

“Um, I don’t know?” He answered confused, turning to look after the kid who was already gone. “Who is ‘Hank’?” He asked his little group. 

“It’s one of the professors here, Hank McCoy. He’s a mutant to and - oh.” Ororo gave him a suddenly wide eyed stare. “And he turns very blue and hairy when he’s angry. And i suppose he could have a child about your age.”

Kurt’s heart started beating wildly as he looked around the suddenly curious group. 

“Well, if you dont know who your father is, that might be a good place to start looking.” Jean said. “But first let’s get some breakfast, then we have class and professor Xavier wants to speak to you again.”

“Just be careful what you find out.” Pieter blew a bubble and didn’t really look at anyone. “Getting to know who your real parents is ain’t always what you wanted it to be.”

The group kept chatting on their way to breakfast, not really noticing the mousy little girl that was following them a few steps behind, listening intently. Inside her borrowed disguise, Raven was churning with emotions.

:::::

“So Mr Wagner, we should start today with determining the boundarys of your abilities, both genetic and academic.” Professor Xavier smiled at him. “Unless you have any other questions first?”

Kurt twisted in his seat; he did have one burning question, but it seemed…prideful to ask of the professor. After all, Kurt’s body, strange as it may look, was at least fully functioning. The professor gave him time until he finally blurted out:

“Iz there anyone else in school who….looks like me?” He kept his eyes on the floor as the question all but fell from his lips.

Professor Xavier studied him for a while.

“Amongst the students, no.” He shook his head. “There is no one else in whom their mutations have manifested as clearly as in you. But - ” he held up his hand “- there are two amongst the staff. None of them have a tail or limbs quite like yours, but one is blue and furry -”

“Professor McCoy,” Kurt interupted, then blushed as he realized what he’d done. Xavier nodded.

“And the other is simply blue skinned. But both of them can change, willingly or not, between those forms and others, more accepted in society.”

“I see.” Kurt hung his head. This was not what he had hoped to hear.

“Don’t worry too much about it, young Wagner. Your friends doesn’t seem to mind your looks, am I right?”

Kurt’s head snapped up. Friends? What friends? Images of Scott and Jean, Ororo and Pieter flashed through his mind. Saving him, bringing him here, getting him clothes and helping him…Friends.

“Ja.” He looked up, meeting the professors eyes with his own red ones for the first time. “Friends.”


	3. Ororo

Weeks passed, and Kurt grew increasingly comfortable with his friends. They went to class together, took trips to the mall, watched TV and generally just sat and talked about their lives and what they wanted to do with them. Kurt still retained a huge personal sphere and although the no longer bamfed away at the slightest physical contact, he still shied away from it and went to great length to avoid it. But he smiled more and he talked more and he didn’t hide in oversized sweaters whenever he was alone with his friends. 

Ororo and Kurt in particularly enjoyed watching TV, mostly because they hadn’t grown up with all the soap operas and comedy programs, so it was not unusual to find them together, watching something so cheesy or bad it had already bored the others to bed. 

Kurt always sat curled up like a cat, his knees to his chest and his tail tucked around his feet, taking up as little space as possible in the corner of the sofa. Ororo gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as she walked by with the snacks to sit next to him. Kurt jumped at the touch, crawling up even tighter. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She said as she released her hoard of snacks on the table and turned on the TV. “You really don’t like touch much, do you?”

Kurt looked away, then down at his clawed hands. He was still so tightly wound up, Ororo thought, he’s like a coil that can spring away in any direction at any time. Maybe she should see it as a sign of friendship that he hadn’t ‘ported the second she touched him.

“You shouldn’t have to…nobody has to touch someone like me.” He mumbled, tucking his hands away in his armpits as if he was cold. *No. He is not warming them. He is hiding them.*

For a few seconds she just stared at the young mutant while Kurt kept his eyes firmly on the TV as if fascinated by the rather dull documentary about a Hungarian dollmaker on it. Then, very, very gently, Ororo leaned over to her friend, feeling the panic he radiated as she came into his personal space. Panic, but not detest. Kurt didn’t dislike human contact, she suddenly realized; he simply didn’t think he was worthy of it. She expected him to bamf away as she gently pried his hand free and took it between her own, but he didn’t. Instead he stared at her with something close to shock. The three-fingered hand was warm and a bit fuzzy in between hers, the claws were short and yellow.

“Kurt. Too many people have tried to make me feel uncomfortable with my own skin, with my own body.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Too make me feel unworthy. I will not listen to them. And neither should you. You must fight these lies.”

Kurt shook his head violently, black and blue hair flying. But he didn’t remove his hand from hers.

“Nein, it’s not the same. You are human – you look human – I am…a monster.”

“Yes, it’s very cruel and clever, the way they make us believe there is no lie and nothing to fight.” She smiled sadly. “That way their victory is guaranteed and safe because we keep it for them. Haven’t you heard ‘the greatest stunt the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist’? Well, right now the devil is telling you that you are worthless and disgusting and shouldn’t be allowed human contact. And at the same time he is telling you that he doesn’t exist, so there is nothing for you to fight. But I am exposing that devil. He is in your mind. And you must fight him. And every time you expose him you will see him clearer. And every time you fight him he gets a little smaller. You are worthy, Kurt. You are as worthy and valuable as every other human in this world.” She put her arm around him, encouraged when he didn’t pull back and gently pulled him towards her, so that he could lie down with his head in her lap and his whole body stretched out on the sofa; he was remarkably tall when he let his body relax. He just looked shorter because he was always crouching.

Kurt stared up at her with red eyes as she smiled and pulled her hands through his hair. A quiver went through his body, as if he let go of some small part of a long-held tension. When she reached for the M&M, his tail shoot out, wrapped around the bowl and lifted it up for her. His eyes never left her, bleeding emotions, and she knew this was some kind of test. The tail was the least-human part of him, would she recoil?

She smiled and took a handful of candy. 

“Thank you,” she said with her mouth full.

“Tank you, mein friend.” He whispered back, closing his eyes as she kept caressing his hair.

The remote had fallen somewhere behind the sofa but none of them suggested getting up to find it. They watched the Hungarian documentary and after a while while Kurt’s eyes closed as he started drifting into sleep. 

Ororo could have sworn he was purring


	4. Pietro

“Go on, hop up!” Pieter was jumping from foot to foot, pointing at his back. “I’m itching to do, we’re gonna beat these losers!”

“Up on….your back?” Kurt looked in serious doubt. 

“Yeah, yeah, what’s the problem? I know you wont fall off, you never fall off anything!”

“True, but….” Kurt still hesitated. 

“Come ooooon, ‘crawler, the other team –“ Pieter pointed across the field were Scott had Jean on his back, Jean a spoon with an egg in mouth and leading the egg race. “- is gonna win! In a *speed* competition! I aint gonna let that happen, but I need a team mate, so get up!”

“Ja, alright.” Kurt took a little jump up on Quicksilver’s back, latching his long legs around the other mutant’s waist and his arms around his neck. With the tail he picked up the egg on the spoon and with delicate balance put the spoon handle in his mouth. Between sharp teeth and spoon he murmured. “Remember now, Pieter, you can’t speed or I’m going to drop the –“ That was as far as he got before Pieter hoisted his long but lanky body a bit further up and took off at Quicksilver speed.

“- egg!” Kurt all but wailed as they burst through the finish line one step ahead of Scott and Jean.

“Hey, no cheating!” Scott shouted but his protest died off as he and Jean both realized at the same time that Kurt had indeed dropped the egg – straight down on Pieter’s head. Kurt’s eyes got wide with horror as Pieter all but dropped him, but then a small smile crept up on the blue mutant’s face, even though he was obviously struggling to contain it.

“Vell, I did varn you….” He started, snickering a little. 

“Oh, you thought that was funny, did you ‘crawler?” Pieter wiped at the egg, only succeeding in spreading it out more, but he was obviously struggling to contain his own mirth; Pieter had many fallings, but too much self-pride wasn’t one of them. “We’ll see about that!” And the next second he held Jean’s egg in one hand and his other hand on Kurts shoulder. “Tag!” And he dropped the egg.

Kurt yelped and bamfed away – only to appear in time to catch the egg, disappear and appear above Peter, poking his head and tossing the egg. 

“Tag!” he bamfed but as soon as he appeared Pieter was there, pulling his tail and throwing the egg.

“You’re it!” he flashed away, but as soon as he stopped, Kurt was on him, bopping his nose with a finger and stuffing the egg in his jacket pocket with the other.

“No, you are it!”

Jean and Scott sat down under a tree to watch the very mutant version of Tag and reversed egghunt being played along campus, smiling widely as Kurt’s wild laughter echoed between the trees.


	5. Jubilation

“I am not sure about this.” Kurt huddled deeper into the huge bathtowel he’d wrapped around his shoulders and neck like an oversized poncho. Underneath it, a pair of very red, loose and knee-long swimtrunks could be seen, along with skinny blue legs and a swishing tail. 

“You can’t swim?” Jubilation asked as she showed him the way to the campus pool. 

“I can swim, but….I am not comfortable….wearing so little clothes..” his voice tailed off into a murmur. 

“Kurt, it’s just us there. Jean is keeping everyone else away. Come now!” She pulled gently at his arm as he’d almost stopped. “You’ll have fun, I promise.”

The rest of the gang was already in the pool, splashing and laughing in the warm summer sun, but like Jubilee had promised, there were no other students. 

That made Kurt relax a little, but he still felt every eye on him as he shuffled down to the pool, still huddled in his towel. 

“Jump in Kurt! It must be unbearably hot having fur in this weather!” Scott waved at him, wearing ruby-tinted swim goggles. Pietro was approaching him from behind like a shark, ready to pounce while Scott’s attention was diverted. 

Kurt sighed, looked around for a way out, but then finally took of the towel. 

His whole torso was covered in the same markings that lined his face, from his neck to the scrawny hip bones jutting out over the swimtrunks, and some of those marks where obviously very new; they were just scabbed over enough that they didn’t bleed. 

Fortunately, Pietro choose that exact moment to make a dive and pull down Scott’s swimtrunks and suddenly everyone had a lot more exciting things to look at than Kurt. Only Jubilation cast a quick glance at him while Scott roared and made a grab for both his trunks and Pietro. 

“Is that….a secondary mutation?” Jubilation asked but Kurt just shook his head.

“Nein,” he muttered and slid into the pool. It felt better in the water, not just cooler – Scott was right, fur in the summer was the worse – but also a bit shielded from the other’s eyes. They were so very normal, with their human bodies and swim clothes, and he felt more freaky and weird looking than ever. At least in clothes he could cover up some of his alieness. He swum out a bit, dived under water and tried to just enjoy the cool water. In the other end of the pool, Scott and Peitro were wrestling like crocodiles, eagerly cheered on by Jean and Ororo. 

When Kurt came up to the surface again, he realized Jubilation was still sitting by the edge of the pool, splashing her feet. 

“You are not jumping in the pool?” he asked as he got up and wiped water and blue-black hair from his face.

Jubilation gave him a strange smile and looked away.

“I can’t swim.” She said, with faked lightness to her voice. “I don’t really….trust water much.”

“Oh.” Kurt glanced over his scarred shoulder, but Jean and Ororo had engaged Scott and Pieter in a water fight. Very hesitantly he reached out a thick, three fingered hand. “Perhaps I could show you, ja?” he asked and immediately regretted it when he saw the panic in her eyes. Kurt was thoughtful and insightful; he knew it was the same look he’d given Ororo just a few nights ago. But he wasn’t as good with words as she was. “Please. Perhaps we can help each other?”

“In the shallow end. And you promise not to let me go!” Jubilation reached out for his hand with extreme hesitation, but it wasn’t the strange looking limb she was looking at, it was the clear, cool water. She clung to his hand so hard he almost winced, but hid it.

“I promise, as God is my witness,” he said very seriously and then suddenly Jubilation was clambering on to his back in panic, her feet kicking at his legs and her hand wrapped around his head. “Freuline, I can’t see!”

“Bamf up! Bamf me up now!” Jubilation all but screamed and he did, landing them both on the towels. “Please Kurt, I can’t.” She shivered. “I just don’t like water!”

It took some convincing to get her back down in the pool and it included Kurt promising to hold both her hands and have his tail wrapped around her waist AND to promise to bamf her up if she wanted to. 

The rest of the day she clung to Kurt like he was a blue life raft, but by afternoon she could handle the shallow end with just a hold on Kurt’s hand or tail. It was a strange feeling, to Kurt, to have someone use HIM as comfort and having his strange body as a safe haven. Jubilation was still a bit wild eyed with fear, but none of it was directed at him, just the blue cool water around them. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about such trust, but he didn’t feel a need to go to the chapel with a razor that night.


	6. Scott

“Excuse me…professor?” Professor McCoy looked up to see the blue and nervous face of his newest student hovering over him. Kurt held his books to his chest as if they were shields and his tail was whipping around wildly behind him. 

“Yes?” Thoughtfully Hank removed a coffee mug from his desk before the whip-like tail accidently smashed it. 

Kurt didn’t seem to know how to continue. He was blushing and sweating and his eyes darted everywhere except on the professor. 

“Professor Xavier told me about your mutation, sir.” He said finally, fixing his eyes on a spot by his feet. “I vas just vondering….since I too am blue….and I never knew who my father vas….”

“Oh. Oh!” *Damn it Charles, you could have warned me about this!* “I am very sorry to say this, Kurt, but as far as I know I have not fathered any children. And I have never been to Germany.”

“But still….it’s not impossible, ja?” Kurt mumbled.

“Impossible, no, improbable yes.” Hank sighed. “Kurt, I would want nothing more than to be the father of as amazing young man as yourself but….” He really couldn’t look at the kicked-puppy look on the young mutant so he added. “We can do a fathership test if you want to.”

“I would be…that would be…great.” Poor kid, so desperate for somewhere to belong.

“What about your mother? Doesn’t she, ah, know who the father is?” Hank tried as they both dripped a few drops of blood into test tubes. 

“Margail is my foster mother, so she doesn’t know who my biological parents are.” Kurt watched the machine. 

“Oh, so she’s not your real mother?”

“She is my real mother.” Kurt said with uncharacteristic firmness. “She’s just not my biological one.”

They both looked up as at a crash in the other end of the room where a janitor had dropped a trashcan and was now hurrying out the room; it looked like he had tears in his eyes. 

“Vat vas that about?” Kurt said confused. 

“I have no idea.” Hank shrugged. 

The results came back, unmistakably negative. Hank tried to ease it to Kurt, to explain that he was welcome anytime, but of course it was not the same. 

Later, the same day.

“Who is it?” Scott mumbled into the soft dark night, keeping his eyes carefully closed. He was too tired to get up but he could have sworn he heard something. “Is it you, Jean?” He asked against hope.

“Nein, it’s….it’s just me.” Came the heavily accented answer back. “I am so sorry! I had a nightmare and I must have….bamfed without thinking. I will leave.” There was a hurried but very soft patter of feet against the floor.

“Wait, Kurt.” Scott might not be the most emphatic of people, but he was not an idiot. When Kurt was frightened he teleported where he felt safe, that was just logical. So if he was in Scott’s room after a nightmare….Scott rolled a little aside and lifted the covers. He might be unable to see in the dark but he knew Nightcrawler had no such trouble. “Come here. It’s no use going back to your own room alone after a bad dream.”

He could all but sense Kurt’s confusion. 

“My older brother used to do this for me when I was a kid and scared. Come here.” He patted the bed next to him.

Very, very slowly Kurt walked over to the bed and sat down on it. Even more slowly he laid down next to Scott and then froze up as Scott put an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Rearranging Kurt’s long limbs so the blue mutant was in a comfortable little spoon position, Scott sighed contently.

“Good night, Kurt.” He mumbled, already drifting off to sleep. 

“Ja. Good night, Scott.” Came the soft answer as Kurt melted into the embrace and fell asleep himself.


	7. Jean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for attempts at self-hurt

“Damn it.” Jean sighed, letting her hands drop in front of the mirror. This just wasn’t working. “Hey, Kurt! Do you have a minute?” 

Looking up from his book in the common room sofa, Kurt nodded. 

“Of course, freuline. What is it?”

“Can you braid hair?” She frowned, holding up her long red hair. “I want to do something new with this.”

Kurt’s eyes darted wildly, but he nodded warily. 

“I…can, actually. I used to help my sister Amanda – my foster sister, back at the circus.”

“Oh great!” Jean hurried over to sit on the sofa next to him. “Could you, please? I sort of want to surprise Scott.”

Still a bit hesitant, Kurt picked up the thick red tresses in his hands, but the movements were familiar and he soon relaxed. 

“So, vat do you vant? A braid crown? A fishtail braid? Maybe a horseshoe lace-braid?” He fiddled with the hair, getting used to its weight and structure.

“You can do all those yourself?” Jean was impressed.

“Vell, I use my tail to hold them down, it helps.”

“Cool!”  
::::::::::::::::::::::

“What did you do to your hair? It looks amazing.” Scott said a few minutes later as Jean did a little twirl for him. 

“You like it? Kurt helped me.” She smiled and Kurt crouched deeper into the couch, hiding behind his book as if he thought Scott might hurt him for touching his crush’s hair. 

“Hey, nice work, Kurt.” Scott gave him a thumbs up. “We got class now, see you later.”

“Thanks Kurt.” Jean gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and he blushed fiercely as they hurried away. 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
The razor gleamed in the dim light, even though the little chapel was lit only by candles; the light seemed to run over the clean metal like fire. Kurt wasn’t even sure why he was here. It had been months since he’d feel the need, the need for blood and pain to be lifted from his soul and onto his body where it was somehow so much easier to deal with. Wounds lifted from an existential level to a physical; from his soul to his flesh. 

There had been few wounds to his soul since he started on the Institute. True, Hank not being his father had been a harsh blow, but it was not really loosing something if you had never had it for starters. 

He had no excuses for being here again, alone with the razor. And yet, here he was. 

Habit is a terrible force. And somehow it made the act dirty; as if he was doing this not for his soul but for his own, mortal sake. 

But he couldn’t see how he could stop it. He raised his hand, already searching out the pattern on his thigh where he’d last stopped. He could see the continued pattern of scar tissue in his mind. Clean, holy symbols to counter his devil’s body…a body that felt less devilish nowadays. More human, with or without scarring. 

The conflict brought tears to his eyes and he wiped at them angrily. Tears diluted the blood, would make the pattern less than perfect. He knew that from experience and it was a long time since he last cried from physical pain alone. 

He lowered the razor, pressed it against his skin.

A hand that hadn’t been there a second ago stopped him, and Kurt looked up into Pietro’s sadly smiling face as Quicksilver gently pried the razor from his fingers.

“Kurt.” He looked around at the gently said word and there they were; Ororo and Scott and Jean and Jubilation and he felt like bamfing away forever to get away from the accusations in their stares, the detest, and pity. 

But there were nothing like that in their eyes. 

“Please, Kurt. We are here for you. You don’t have to do this anymore.”

He didn’t know who said it, but they walked up to him and held him, together.

Friends.


	8. Epilogue - Warren

“Don’t you fucking touch me, you freak!” Snarling the new student snapped out his wings, which gave Kurt a harsh push that would have sent a less agile person to the ground. 

Absolute quiet spread across the group of friends; it had taken so long to get Kurt to accept touch, to start feeling good about himself and now it could all be ruined, just by one short-sighted, anger obsessed idiot. Scott felt a sudden urge to strangle Warren and from the looks of it, Jean, Ororo, Pietro and Jubilation felt the same. And all because Kurt had just gently grabbed Angel’s shoulder to keep him from bumping into the blue mutant hanging upside down in a chandelier reading a book. 

Kurt recoiled, old, sharp hurt clear in his upside down face, but it quickly melted away as he closed his book and looked straight at Warren with kind, alien eyes. 

“I understand your pain, mein friend.” He said softly, reaching out a prehensile tail to gently soothe the ruffled feathers – literally. “But there is nothing to fear here. No one will harm you, I promise.”

Warren could just gape as the inhuman appendix carefully and respectfully sorted out *his* inhuman appendixes and for less than a second there was something incredibly vulnerable crossing his face. Then he slammed the mental shields down once more.

“Get the Hell out of my way.” He snapped out his wings and barged forward, forcing Kurt to quickly bamf out of the way and then the winged man was gone. 

“That is going to be a challenge, Kurt.” Jean shook her head. “There is a lot of pain in between Warren and friendships.”

“Ja, lots of pain.” Kurt nodded, having appeared next to his friends and then he smiled, showing his sharp pointy teeth as he looked around at his friends. “But still worth it, I hope?”

“Always, little buddy.” Pietro answered back and Ororo nodded and Scott squeezed his shoulder and Jubilation patted the couch next to her for him to sit down and do homework together and Jean smiled. 

“Always.”

 

The End


End file.
